Thursday, December 13, 2007

Who says 4 out of 5 isn't bad?

As some of you know I have my heart set on becoming a Snozzberry Gustatologist. I have studied many years to get to this point, made many sacrificies (ok not many a few), suffered humiliation and awkward silences to get to this point. Now my dream is on the rocks (and not in the good way like "Whiskey on the Rocks"). One thing my dream was based on and I kind of took for granted was one of my 5 senses. As a Snozzberry gustatologist it is very important to be able to distinguish the nuances between different kinds of snozzberries.

The snozzberry is a very exquisite fruit and must be completely experienced in order to even begin to comprehend the bliss that is a good snozzberry. What the snozzberry has to offer in terms of gustatory rapture is beyond imagination (or do I daresay Pure Imagination). I used to be a fan and proponent of the pomegrante in terms of exhilirating fruits, I dabbled with delightful passion fruit that really elicited some passion, but the snozzberry makes those enticing fruits seem like day old water you find sitting out in the sun on a park bench.

But I digress, although I absolutely abhor that pretentious, pompous puke called Willy Wonka, he did introduce me to the splendiferous snozzberry. I have since built my whole life around the study of and enjoyment of snozzberries. I have recently become ill and instead of 5 great senses I was down to 4, and probably have about 4.27 out of 5 right now. The sense that is sooo important as a gustatologist is Taste. At one point I had no taste at all, I thought it was because I had a cold and when you can't smell so well, your taste is off. Mine was not just a little off it just wasn't there. I had a very simple procedure done and my doctor was able to restore most of my taste. He said it would be a long journey and hopefully one day I will have complete restoration.

I have gotten back the middle third, parts of my posterior tongue in terms of taste. I have salty; thank heavens considering my dad owns a nut factory. Could you imagine my poor dad sending me so many of those ridiculous nuts he always sends me that are coated in salt and I told him I couldn't tast them anymore, it would break his little heart. I have some spicy back, it is a little dull not as robust as before. I have sour. I had some grapes the other day, and they were so unpleasantly sour but I ate every one. I have actually taken to eating sour grapes quite often. I definately have bitter back. That one may have been nice to not have, but as a future gustatologist I can't discriminate against different kinds of tastes, although unpleasant for me, some people like bitter tasting snozzberries. But the one that hurts the most, the one I miss the most is sweet. As you all know my second passion behind snozzberries was candy. Which was unquestionably sweet. Sweet snozzberries were my favorite, in fact still are my favorite but now I can't detect them. The candy just tastes salty, sour, or bitter but no hint of sweetness. My doctor said this would resolve but when, it has been several months.

Honestly Life just isn't as sweet as it used to be!!

2 comments:

The Red Queen said...

I just found you through Steve the Penguin and OMG! That was the happiest making read I've had in a while.

May your snozzberry tasting come back as full as ever.

Veruca Salt said...

Thanks for the encouragement!