Addiction Affliction...What's my Fiction?

Addiction Affliction...What's my Fiction?
Inflicting nerds and mazes and causes.


My Schoolhouse Rock lyrics aren't as educational and a little bit more depressing. But this morning when I almost considered abandoning my whole day and any plans I had for it when I was unable to locate my $8-dollar a bean, chocolate-covered espresso beans. I couldn't imagine going to school, or getting any work done without my tasty pick-me up that I have come to rely on. Caffeine and chocolate, the chocolate is something I love and the caffeine is something I need. But as I tore my room apart, which already looked like the Geese room after I tore it apart (maybe an early sign of my addiction...I just wanted some Golden Chocolate eggs), the thought entered my head...maybe somebody stole them. I thought of my roommates and friends I have had over, wondering how they found them in the mess that is my room. But I was convinced...until through tears and sobs I located them...under some jeans.

After I washed down "My Precious" with some Mountain Dew and washed the tears and sleep out of my eyes, I realized it was ridiculous for me to even think someone stole them. Practically no one knows I even have these expensive little treats that have improved my life and made it bearable again. Then the even more ridiculous thought crept into my head, maybe I have a problem. In a world where people choose money over people, drink 4 margaritas at lunch, throw up in library bathrooms to avoid gaining weight, I will choose to ignore my problem like so many others do. Those little beans enhance my life like nothing else ever has.

Newsflash... I am a spoiled Brat

As much as I complain about my dad always making things difficult, he is definately not as dreadful as my other parental unit, Edina Monsoon. So I have my super stressful academic situation that consumes most of my time, my patience, and sometimes even my will to live. I never believed it when people said stress kills, oh do I believe it now. It is doing a number on my body...headaches, backaches, tummyaches and many other random aches and pains. My mother (if she even deserves to be called that) lacks that maternal streak...she thinks dressing me up (that horrible red dress I wore on the day of the tour of the factory was her idea) and doing my hair is all that is required of her. So I try not to be a complete bitch, I realize her limitations in her capacity as being a parental entity, so I try to avoid her. But after my sister Saffy called me, my dad, and my mom called me this week...acting like they haven't heard from me in years, I decided I should contact them. So I sent the parents a polite email. Well that of course is not good enough for my mother. She left message, after message, so I finally gave in and called even though school is emotionally draining, and she makes any decent situation a riot of negative emotions. So I tried to not talk about school and stick to the chit chat that is suitable for strangers sitting next to each other on a trans-atlantic flight. But I let slip one disparaging remark about my school and she tells me to suck it up and stop complaining, and I should just be happy, and blah, blah, blah. I had to restrain myself and only had enough strength to just close my cell phone and turn it off. (Yeah I hung up on the old twit!) I am tired of being told it is my fault. I know it is my fault. I shouldn't even be here. I know I am lucky to be here in my situation. But I could have and really should have gone to school someplace else, I probably would be happier. I really can't take criticism from someone who always fails to be supportive and who made it clear to me a long time ago that maintaining a certain kind of lifestyle was more important then her first-born daughter. I know she has no idea and no matter how much I explain the complexity of the situation, she still finds something negative to say. I don't have time to cry... too much studying to do. So it is simpler to agree with her and just say it...I am a spoiled, rotten, horrible, awful, ungrateful, miserable brat.

Hiatus from my so-called life

So after I mentally trashed my roomates. I ended up taking one of them to the emergency room. Not how I wanted to spend my day, no studying, no room cleaning. He is ok, I don't know if he even appreciates it. So after that I decided I would spend some quality time with good ole Cornelia Prinzmetal.

Well that turned out to be as good idea as Augustus jumping into that chocolate river. First she rubbed into my face how much fun she and my other friends Jane Banks and Pinky Bhamra had dancing on roof tops with the Chimney sweeps. Then she made fun of how much I love indulging in snozzberries (even though she does it all the time).True Mike Teavee is not the best supplier, but at least I know my supplier's last name. That was bad enough. Then she told me she had a personal vendetta against my old friend Alex Delarge. I will admit her first impression of him is not the best (he used to be a real troublemaker, he still can be from time to time). But overall he isn't so bad. He has always been nice to me. I tried to explain to her if she did anything too awful to him she and I couldn't be friends anymore and she was like "Over him". Prinzmetal has her bias against boys in general. I told her he was my childhood friend and we are still friends (man we used to have fun in that Durango of his on the countrysides) Cornelia was like if that is what you call a friend. True I used to have a crush on him and wanted more then friendship but he has always been a good friend to me. The reason we aren't so close anymore is because I acted like a spoiled brat one time to many and he got tired of it. But we still talk and I would give him the moon if he only asked.

So my relaxing dinner turned out to be very stressful. As I shopped to replace my broken blender I got more and more upset. Cornelia's judging of my snozzberry selection and looking down on my old chum Alex upset me. Plus I feel left out by Jane and her with their endeavors. I always find out about things last. I had to choke back a few tears as I payed for my new blender. I think I had more fun falling down Wonka's garbage chute then I had today. I think I am calling it quits on Cornelia and Jane. I don't want to intrude on their oh so fabulous social lifes.

Check your Mate

I am so bloody mad right now...I could scream and cry and break shit. What was the precipating event you wonder. Well lately in my attempt to battle the bulge piling up around my middle (too many Scrumpdiddleumptious Bars), I have been having these protein shakes in the morning. They were ok, some vitamins, protein, a little flavor...and the best part very quick so I could scurry away to study.

Well imagine my surprise when this morning I am blending my shake and added some frozen fruit for some extra flare since it is a Sunday and there is protein shake leaking out. At first I thought I didn't assembly the blender right (which I have done in the past). But I checked it and that was ok. So I went back to blending and even more started coming out. So I investigate again and notice this huge crack right by the handle. So I blend again and confirm that, that is actually the source of the leak. Ok so my blender is broken, big deal right.

Well it is a big deal because I didn't break it. One of my idiot boy "roommates" broke it. These fellas aren't my mates. They infuriarte me so. Bloody New England boys (I prefer actual boys from England). Maybe I seem unreasonable and they are terrified of me, but I understand that accidents happen. Did they think I wouldn't notice? I use that blender almost every day now. I am more upset that I had to find out by making a mess of the kitchen counter then them actually just telling me.

So with the mass production of cheap unreliable products in the American market I am sure I can get a decent blender for under $20 at Target or Kmart or Walmart(shudder, that place creeps me out). But do you think after this incident that I will leave my blender downthere for them to trample on. Bloody hell I will, I will keep it in my room where it can be safe. This wasn't even the first blender incident, one crucnched up the top of the blender in the garbage disposal. Now I didn't have one of this disposals as a kid (ok maybe we did, I didn't even know where the kitchen was in our estate) but even I know, when you see plastic shooting out, then stop the bloody disposal.

I think I know which one broke it and he has a lot of nice kitchen tools. I had the impulse to start trashing his things (a la the Egg room in the factory). But I restrained myself, which was hard to do on an empty stomach. I am seceeding from this household. I refuse to take out the trash, only my own, only clean up after myself and I am not speaking to those twerps. I really wish I had enough money to live by myself, but alas I don't.

Those rotten, mean boys can fall down the garbage chute for all I care.